pursuant to the "inalienable rights" of all men, and the First
(and possibly the Second)
Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America.
Don't tread on me, pretty-please.
This Friday, at 11:59 pm, this humble website will
celebrate its TEN YEAR anniversary.
I remember the birth well: the
nation was in the midst of the Y2K hype. Remember? Everything nerd
based was going to crash and burst into e-flames. So, in an act of
both defiance and faith, one minute before midnight, I hit ENTER,
came into being.
Sixty-one seconds later, I
realized that there would be no bread lines, no government agents
would be breaking into houses and confiscating weapons, no gangs of
drug-crazed teenagers would be terrorizing the streets, and I would
not be able to claim one of the shortest lived websites in
And I have to confess, dear
readers, that I was more than just a tiny bit disappointed.
Is it over yet? Can I pull my head out of this hole?
Just after midnight tonight -- Winter Solstice, full moon, full eclipse. I'd feel better if there were some virgins and
Today at work, I heard Twisted Sister's ridiculous,
god-awful version of "Oh, Come All Ye Faithful." If you
haven't heard it, you should seek it out - it's really appalling.
I'd rather hear Marilyn Manson singing "Here Comes Santa
Claus." Anyway, later that day, I noticed where the Singing
Nuns had booked a banquet at the restaurant. And I thought, dude, if
they sing that Twisted Sister song...
This weekend I watched "Even
Dwarfs Started Small," by Werner Herzog. It's an awesome film
(despite the stupid title), allegorical and poetic, about inmates
(very small ones) taking over the asylum. The final 20 minutes are
I also saw "Splice,"
the genetic-tampering-gone-bad, sci-fi thriller with the great
Adrien Brody. If you stayed awake in science class you'll have to
gulp an enormous suspension-of-disbelief pill. Even still, it's a
lab full of fun, very creepy and pleasantly disturbing. Images from
the end of the movie have literally haunted my sleep.
I also saw "Final,"
a film starring Denis Leary as an asylum patient who suspects
from the beginning that all is not as it seems. Hope Davis is
impressive as Leary's doctor. It's a movie where the genre isn't
apparent until close to the end.
That's right, I didn't get out much.
Would it be a sign of success if you took the Facebook
"Which Drunk Author are You" quiz and it came up as
Help me change the Spokane slogan!
Someone down the street just yelled, "I won't be
your goddamn wombat, Lisa. You can't color me like that!" Brownes
Addition. Spokane, WA. USA. Earth. Milky Way. Universe. You'll love it
So, unlike last year, we didn't make the top eight
finalists in the film fest. But there is no discouragement here.
This event is super challenging, artistically stimulating, and
amazingly fun. There were very few of those 2,880 minutes where
something wasn't revealed about story telling, scriptwriting,
motivation, community standards, improvising, actors, digital technology,
inspiration, cleavage in cinema, the dangers of caffeine, sound
capture, moral relativism, fake blood, F-stops, editing, background noise, special
effects, whiskey, focus, sleep deprivation, smooth-talking, ego,
lighting, bribery, and much, much more.
Support this event by attending First Night Spokane
on New Year's Eve in downtown Spokane. The top eight films will be
showing every hour on the hour at City Hall beginning at 7pm. Or
(not surprisingly), the official OtherSpokane pick: go to the Magic
Lantern where all 22 entries will be looping throughout the night
for people to watch as they come and go. Or, go to the smaller
Magic Lantern theatre where last year’s 48-Hour entries will be
shown, including our film "bag."
1. Theme: The number 10.
2. Location: A stairwell
3. Line of dialogue to be spoken: "Maybe if you knew what it was
like to deal with this, you'd think differently."
4. Prop: The six of hearts card.
5. Bonus - Have at least one purposefully out of focus shot.
We turned in our entry to the 48 Hour Film Fest
yesterday with 28 minutes to spare. I have to say that, while it has
problems, and it looks like we slapped it together in 48 hours, and I
don't think people will understand it, I absolutely love it. Some of
Jesse's camera work and editing are inspired. But, the show was stolen
by the star, Nirvana Houghton, whose acting and screen presence is
When we turned in the film, Tomas' from North by
Northwest took it and threw it in a big box with all the others. Jesse
thought it was a bit disconcerting, and compared it to that scene at
the end of "Raiders of the Lost Ark" where the Ark of the
Covenant is stuck away in the enormous warehouse. That's right, he
compared the film to the HOLY THRONE OF GOD.
If all goes well, we should make today's 7:30 deadline
for the 48 Hour Film Fest. As usual, the final product will be nothing
like we thought when we begun. Anyone with more than a passing
interest in filmmaking should consider competing. It's totally worth
the expense, loss of friends, loss of sleep, law suits, headache,
heartache and brain damage.
We just finished shooting for the 48 Hour Film
Festival. Jesse is editing right now (unless he passed out). Our star,
Nirvana, was awesome! Thanks to everyone who helped out.
The finished product is due at 7:30 tomorrow night at
the North by Northwest building. We'll be cutting it close.
I'm getting all psyched up for another 48 Hour Film
Festival, happening this weekend. Here's the deal. On Friday night,
each team receives randomly picked parameters: A line of dialogue, a
location, a prop - all of which must be used in the three to five
minute film. The teams have 48 hours to write, rehearse, shoot, edit
and turn in their film.
It was so cold walking to work today that my camera
wouldn't function. It it did, though, you'd be seeing here a great
tracking shot of five mail trucks unsuccessfully trying to be started
by five very frustrated mailmen.
It's currently five degrees. The predicted high
tomorrow is nine degrees. Sometime in the next 24 hours we can look
forward to an increase of FOUR degrees. It's gonna be great!
I channel Bill Cosby.
While filming yesterday, I was asked to spit a full
mouthful of beef gravy in someone's face. Still, I felt good about it,
though I thought it needed salt.
We just had the first real snowfall of the year.
It's beautiful right now; but ultimately, the snow blows.
Just another typical Sunday...
I just watched "Until
the Light Takes Us," a documentary about the Norwegian black
metal subculture of the '90s. They didn't just sing about church
burning, suicide and murder, they lived it, and backed it up with
logic and dark philosophy. In doing so, they took an obscure offshoot
of heavy metal and shoved it in our worldwide face.
I had lunch at Chicken-N-More with Arp Xigar today.
Topics of Conversation: Death, sex, internet, immortality, Japanese
anime, boredom, medical anomalies, beauty, murder, travel, God, vandalism.
resurrection, computers, perversion, ugliness, love, etc.
Menu: Catfish (pretty good).
I just watched Ingmar Bergman's "Hour
of the Wolf," made in 1968, the year after he made the
ingenious "Persona." Still, the two movies are nothing
alike. "Wolf" reminds me a lot of Lars Von Trier's
"Antichrist," with its dream logic and expressionism.
Essentially, though, it is Gothic horror - from one of the world's
most unapologetic and peculiar artists.
Yet another movie that the critics didn't like but I
think is genius: John Cassavetes' "The
Killing of a Chinese Bookie," from 1976. A sleazy nightclub
manager (played by Ben Gazzara), is in debt to the mob, and pressured
to murder an underworld power. The purposefully haphazard camera
work is amazing and soooo '70s.
This happened sometime last night.
zombie killers are still at large.
I took this photo around 7:00 am. I went by again at
1:30 and the statues were gone. Did the city reclaim them? Did someone
steal them? Or, did they reanimate and trudge away screaming for
Here's my theory of why Dino Rossi can never win the
office of Washington State governor: it's not just his messed up
politics; we've voted in plenty of horrendous politicians. I think
it's because of his messed up name: the only Dinos we know are Dean
Martin, who was drunk all the time, or Dino, the Flintstone's family
dog, who was imaginary.
Thank you, esteemed web surfers: yesterday, this
humble website set a one-day traffic record of 2718 hits.
The circus is coming to Spokane! Today I'll be out
shooting (that is to say, filming) the "God Hates America"
people from the Westboro Baptist Church.
I'm back in the 'Kan(e). On my return trip I filmed at
Grand Canyon, Monument Valley, and Arches National Park. Going through
the footage now.
Also, I "discovered" an awesome little town,
Moab, Utah - super hip (in the midst of Mormon rigidity), great
restaurants, cool people, trails, bike paths, all surrounded by
staggeringly beautiful landscape.
The road trip begins. Please refer to my Facebook page
for updates during the next ten days.
Tomorrow I'm setting out on another road trip. I'll be
shooting a short film called "TEN" beginning on 10/10/10,
which will last for ten days, wherein I endeavor to discover ten
things I never knew before.
I won't be updating this blog but I will be true to my
(much easier to update on the go) Facebook page.
true hero: Liu Xiabao - who can not accept the Nobel Peace Prize
(and possibly not even know he's won it) because he is imprisoned by
the Chinese government for promoting freedom of speech and basic human
I just received a letter from a musician named Matt
O'Connor who hung out in Spokane in the early 90s. Says he's looking
for old friends. He names a lot of names and old haunts.
Have you heard the hype about GLEISE 581G, the newly
discovered planet? They're calling it the Goldilocks planet, "not
too hot, not too cold," suggesting the possibility of life. What
they're not saying is that it's tide-locked, always exposing the same
face to it's red dwarf sun. One step one way, you fry; one step the
other, you freeze. The "perfect porridge" metaphor only
applies to a thin strip between hemispheres.
The Libertarian Party says the Republicans should
offer us an apology, not a "pledge." And it should go
something like this:
"We're sorry, America. Sorry we grew the federal
government budget from $1.7 trillion to over $3 trillion. Sorry we
added $5 trillion to the federal debt. Sorry we doubled the size of
the Department of Education. Sorry we started two incredibly costly
foreign wars. Sorry we supported the absurd and costly TARP bailouts.
Sorry we created a huge and costly new Medicare entitlement. Sorry we
did nothing to end the costly and destructive War on Drugs. Sorry we
did nothing to reform the federal government's near-prohibition on
immigration. But hey, at least we helped you by shifting a lot of your
tax burden onto your children and grandchildren."
My friend and occasional film collaborator Jesse H.
and I are having serious disagreements about Werner Herzog's new film
"My Son, My Son, What have Ye Done?" Produced by David
Lynch. I don't think it's a great film, but it contains flashes of
brilliance, and is worth watching. Jesse HATES it, and in fact, is
insulted by it. Have YOU seen it? What do you think?
PBS is showing an excellent special about the Mexican
artist Jose Orozco. James and I saw his amazing mural in the Cabañas
Cultural Institute in downtown Guadalajara, during a mind bending
Mexican expedition. I still see Orozco's influence in James' artwork
ten years later.
I just watched Ingmar Bergman's Persona
for the umpteenth time in my life - the first time nearly
thirty years ago. It's absolutely unflawed in every aspect of
filmmaking. Each time, more beauty, more psychic treasures are
revealed. The two actresses - Bibi Andersson and Liv Ullmann - are
stunning (even though Ullmann speaks only one word
throughout the entire film). It's my pick for the best movie ever
I can't believe that
more people don't have a problem with the red field at Eastern
Washington University's football stadium. Isn't it an unfair advantage
to be camouflaged - red uniforms against red surroundings? It's like
having the forest-colored rebels shooting from the brush at the contrasting-colored
Having been to both Tea
Party parties and Lefty gatherings, I'm amazed at the similarities in
the two. I see them waving the same signs: Big Gov off my back, eat
the super rich, try actually reading that Constitution you're sticking
in my face, stop acting like jerk-wad Nazis...
Maybe we should organize a
I just watched both film versions of Vladimir
Nabokov's great novel "Lolita" - the 1997 version by Adrian
Lyne, and the much better Stanley Kubrick 1963 version with the
amazing performance by James Mason - about one man's disastrous
obsession with a young girl. I wish I'd have watched them both twenty
An overturned semi with 3,000 lb of sodium hydroxide
spilled today and shut down eastbound I-90. It's the same stuff
that Mexican guy used to dissolve 300 drug lord murder victims.
Or you can make hominy. I feel a new Tex-Mex recipe coming on.
I just renewed my Health Card. I now have official,
governmental proof that I am not a complete idiot.
"No tyranny is so irksome as petty
tyranny." - Edward Abbey
Did you know there already was a Ground Zero Mosque?
It was on the 17th floor of the south tower of the World Trade Center.
I like how many in the media said that they wouldn't
report on the wack-job, Floridian pastor if he and his flock actually
burned Qurans. Real big of them, seeing that it was the media
who turned the misguided man with the creepy mustache into a cultural
Cactuses or cacti?
Wishy-washy wordsmiths say both are correct. ScienceDaily just hedged
the bet by using "cactuses" in the title and
"cacti" throughout the text. Can't we just pick one and go
Did Obama really say,
during his Mission Accomplished speech, that the invasion and
occupation of Iraq was to "disarm a state"? Did he really go
on to nearly praise the traitorous criminal George Bush? Maybe they'll
go on the road (ala Clinton/Bush Sr.) for their Rewrite History tour.
I just realized that next April I'll be 666 months old
- the birthday of the beast.
Ominous weather in
Spokane right now. Reminds me of Firestorm '91 (not a heavy metal
concert, but what seemed at the time an actual storm of fire). Temp in
the Eighties. Sustained winds of 35 to 40. Smoke and dust and strange
colors choking the sky.
An amazing (but unintended) psychological experiment
is being conducted right now in that mine in Chile where a group of
trapped miners will have to spend at least 90 days before being
rescued. Can you imagine being trapped with the people you work with?
Because of the Chelsea Clinton/Marc Mezvinsky wedding,
look for a Clinton grandchild within a year. But, if the ex-Prez
offers you a cigar - DON'T TAKE IT!
A researcher from John Hopkins reported that he has
images of a brain stem and spinal cord in Michelangelo's depiction
of God in the famous Sistine Chapel painting. Across town, motel
workers found the image of Mary in a squished Hostess Twinkie.
So the US government
can't account for for 8.7 BILLION dollars supposedly spent in Iraq,
but they know for sure that I owe $370 in back taxes? I'm thinking
they'll recover neither.
Welcome to Earth John Jude Darley. TEN POUNDS, 22
inches. Granddude number five. Texan number two. The team is now
composed of Hazel, William, Bella, Jack, John. That's an infield.
Right field's on deck. Put's things into perspective.
And then a loud whoosh! and . . .
Besides the monumental
acts of rudeness, the body fluid soaked streets, and the gunfire, the
real tragedy of Hoopfest is that these thousands of brain-damaged
people come to our city and breed like chimpanzees, creating even more
Hoopfestered creatures, and perpetuating the madness for decades to
Chef Dave with Kitchen Confidant.
If, on my last post, you would replace "bit
Fellini's boompole" with "chomped Sofia Coppola's matte
box," I would be much appreciative. Sorry for any inconvenience.
All of our ideas bit Fellini's boompole and we ended
up not submitting anything to the film contest. Still had fun failing
Tonight is the beginning of the summer version of
North by Northwest's 48 Hour Film Contest. Wish us luck!
First, California boycotts Arizona. Yesterday, Arizona
- whose power plants provides one fourth of Los Angeles' gluttonous
electrical needs - threatened to pull the plug in retaliation. MAYBE
THEY'LL DECLARE WAR ON EACH OTHER! I'm sorry, but this level of
surreal potentiality excites me greatly.
Tonight is the Armed Forces Torchlight Parade,
Spokane's annual glorification of militarism. The theme is - believe
it or not - FREEDOM IS NOT FREE. This misleading, ridiculous slogan -
which was first popularized while we were invading a non-threatening, sovereign
country - is a slap in the face to Thomas Jefferson who wrote that
people are "endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable
rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of
happiness." That means free.
The innovative band The Hold Steady was on The
Colbert Report last night. I saw them at The Big Dipper last
October. Scroll down to 10/22/09 to read my mini-review.
No kidding, just now, on KXLY local news:
"Manhunt for a Mother."
Bankers of the world
repent, or come up with a real good disguise.
Greece is the word.
When KXLY local news reported
on the Picasso painting - "Nude, Green Leaves and Bust"
-that sold for a record 106.5 million, they actually put black bars
over the "naughty parts."
The band Black Happy
will reunite in Spokane, Friday, August 6, at The Knitting Factory.
The band graced the cover of issues #1 and #8 of The Scene Magazine in
the early '90s. We should schedule a Scene reunion on Saturday for any
non-deceased, non-incarcerated ex-Scene editors, writers and artists.
Did you see the video of the kid getting tasered
during the Phillies game? This is what we've become: tasers of children
- which can and does kill people - for good ol' non-threatening,
American rambunctiousness. Local newsreaders all made light of this,
saying things like "Guess he won't be doing that again."
Pathetic. Pathetic. Pathetic.
All it would take is a
few altered traffic cones and tens of thousands of Bloomsday runners
would tumble into the Spokane river like lemmings. I'm surprised
nobody's thought of this before.
Spokane would be more tolerable today if you could get
all 50,000 Bloomsdayers to dress up like zombies.
Happy May Day, comrades!
To celebrate this overlooked holiday, may I suggest
two films about the wild man of philosophical theory: the eminent
Slovenian philosopher Slavoj Zizek. "Zizek"
explores his eccentric personality and esoteric work in general (much
of it drifting far over my humble head). But in particular, I highly
Pervert's Guide to Cinema" - his interpretation of David
Lynch, Hitchcock, the Marx brothers, and more, from a psychoanalytical,
Marxist, pie-in-your-face perspective. A true intellectual
I'd believe the whole 2012 scenario if it was 10 or 12
Only a cook would see the irony in the fact that
recipes for Puttanesca call for extra virgin olive oil.
I just watched "Naboer,"
(English title: Next Door) a Norwegian, erotically charged,
psychological thriller by Pål
Sletaune. The protagonist, John, becomes acquainted with his super
hot neighbors who seem to know way too much about him. It becomes
clear that he is victim to a twisted game. Maybe. "Naboer"
received an over-18 rating (essentially an X), which has been issued
to only four other films in the history of Norwegian cinema.
You know, the thing that bugs me about Earth Day is
this: We'll buy Earth a present made in some sweat shop in
Indonesia, spew mega-carbon getting it to us, wrap it in paper with
multi-images of Bugs Bunny planting a tree which will end up in a
landfill, and ultimately Earth will end up re-gifting to Neptune
or Pluto. Still, happy Earth Day. I guess.
The Balch-man is back! Check
out the book from my friend and former Scene magazine
collaborator, Darren Balch, rock photographer extraordinaire. Scrape
up some cash; there's room on your coffee table.
Just watched a wonderful movie: Special
(Specioprin Hydrochloride), about a humdrum dude who takes an
experimental antidepressant and realizes he has "special
powers." Some people might argue that this is not a great film
because of some script problems, but it's not enough to deter this
excellent story, good acting, and inspired filmmaking. An unknown Indy
gem. This is why I love cinema.
Shots from The Great Tax Day Tea Party Party 2010:
Yes, it's an actual art exhibit in downtown Spokane.
But someone scratched out "-erflies" at the end of
"butt." The art team, "Boys Who Like Butterflies,"
is working with Lutheran Community Services, Odyssey Youth Center and
Partners with Families and Children on this exhibit about gender and
So, that clears it up, right?
Wow! Where did this guy come from? Check
out this episode of The Dylan Ratigan Show on MSNBC. The banking
scam explained. He essentially calls Alan Greenspan the world's
biggest criminal. (I wonder how Ratigan gets along with co-worker,
Andrea Michell, NBC's Chief Foreign Affairs Correspondent and wife of
Later today I'm playing the part of "Man Reading
Paper," for something Jesse's shooting. Sounds like yet another
thing I'll have to beg him not to put online so to prevent future
August 2008: A top Russian general warns that U.S. missiles
near Polish/Russian border "won't
January 2010: Poland agrees to deploy U.S. missile on
April 2010: Polish plane crashes near Russian border,
killing nearly 100 of Poland's elite politico, including the president
and his wife, the army chief of staff, the navy chief commander, and
heads of the air and land forces. Russian soldiers arrive at the
scene minutes after the crash. Putin personally takes charge of
April 2010: U.S./Russia sign treaty to cut nuclear
Just watched an amazing movie called "Funny
Games," with Naomi Watts and Tim Roth. It seeks to challenge
the way we look at violence in cinema. It's extremely violent; yet
it's not. It's an excellent script; yet it's not. The acting is great;
yet it's not. I really liked the movie, except that I hated it. I
never want to see it again; yet I'm gonna watch it again right now.
I'll let you know what I re-think. Or not.
Fetus walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The
bartender says, “Hey, Giant Fetus, why do you have a steering wheel
in your pants?” and Giant Fetus says, “I don't know but it’s
driving me nuts.”
Giant Fetus lives
a long, happy life so he takes his wife to a fancy restaurant to
celebrate. Next day he's telling his friend about how great it was:
excellent food, phenomenal prices, wonderful service. Naturally his
friend asks the name of this amazing restaurant.
name?," says Giant Fetus. "Ah... Um... Oh, dang. Okay,
what's the name of that one flower, it's really pretty, smells really
good, and has thorns on the stem?"
rose?" says his friend.
Hey, Rose, what's the name of that restaurant?"
I heard from my old friend,
dewD. Here's some
Warning: What follows is an actual letter.
Long time no taco. Say, have
you see Pan’s Labyrinth? He left it around here somewhere.
Seriously, a good film for you to add to your list of
documentaries. Others should include The Piano, China Syndrome,
The Late Great Planet Earth, and Debby Does Dallas (have you
ever seen this film – perhaps one of the most referenced?). I
hear they’re combining the remake of DDD with No Country for
Old Men. Seriously, I don’t care what you say, Cormac McCarthy
is a freaking genius – I am reading The Road at this point.
During fueled conversation
amongst FaceBook chatters, I somehow was designated as the
“guy who holds the candle for Obama,” even though, as one
chatter acknowledged, I “appear to be a libertarian kind of
socialist”. BTW, I am also a large reptile that eats
dinosaurs. The take home message? I feel your pain. I have come
to the conclusion that Obama is merely Richard Nixon without the
Watergate mess. The guy is so damned moderate, he’s almost an
extreme moderate. I think the “Right” in the country have
gone so far right they’re over the edge. For example, would a
good libertarian (or even a conservative) want legal or illegal
wiretapping? For some reason the Right in this country have all
become the right-wing nutjobs they snickered at all along the
way. Eagerly they give up their rights and vote for tax breaks
for the extremely wealthy, labeling any benefit for themselves
or the rest of us as socialist. The everlasting battle for the
hearts and minds of men, is the way Chomsky put that. It has
everything to do with corporate media. Who says you can’t fool
most of the people all the time?
If eons were burritos it's been a Juarez Gut
Bomb since I've seen you. How's it fan-danglin'? BTW, you forgot
to include in your recommended documentary list: Bambi, all
blacksploitation films and Saving Ryan's Privates (another
I've been thinking a lot about Giant Fetus
lately, so I wrote this story about him: Giant Fetus takes to
chewing tobacco and eventually becomes the evil dictator of the
world. As it turns out, these two guys are really pissed off and
decide to kill him. They
know that Giant Fetus drives through this one
particular intersection every day at 1:30 pm, without fail.
So the two guys finalize their plan, synch their watches, set
up their assault rifles, rig the explosives, sharpen their
machetes, etc., etc. Next day, 1:30 comes and no Giant Fetus.
Then 2:15 - no Giant Fetus. 5:00 - no Giant Fetus. Finally
the one guy turns to the other and says, "Gee, I hope he's
Anyway, I told you that story to make this point
about Obama: at least he's not some evil, dictatorial,
tobacco/spit dripping Giant Fetus who's not on time.
[Editor's note: dewD did a
comic for The Scene Magazine called Giant Fetus. Very
psychedelic, yet astonishingly poignant.]
April Fools! The Kepler's Jazz Club sign was put up
when a movie was shot at the Otis Hotel. Also, I didn't really have
1.2 trillion web hits last month. Sorry for the inconvenience.
Past history revealed at the now defunct Otis Hotel.
Total hits for last month: 1, 230, 358, 593, 021
JJH's film picks:
with Other Women
Best example of what you can do with a solid script, 2 actors, a
couple of digital cameras and a vision. The ending is amazing in
Another great example of a solid screenplay with a small crew, and an
ending that changes the way you look at the whole film.
[Ed note: I finally saw this. And it was good. But
I dare you to tell someone you like it.]
Good Pulp Fictiony type of film. Intertwining stories.
While the libertarian in me
forbids any leap onto some socialist party boat, the combo of
cynic, survivalist and Bob Dylan in me sees that some big change is
The monster that capitalism has become - with its
subversion of democracy and common decency - is on its way out.
Replacing it will be either whatever political/economic yearnings claw
to the top of the angry masses; or, by the outright tyranny of the
The rich and powerful are united in their goal of
taking EVERYTHING and turning us into their serfs. And they have the
jump on us - as well as 95 % of the money. The rest of us (at least
those not too sedated) are mired in relatively petty
Common ground must be established between the so
called right and left. So, how about this: at least we can agree that
the international bankers who just robbed us of hundreds of billions
(or is it trillions?) of dollars are in fact irredeemable souls, and
only worthy of being dragged into the streets by their Gucci ties,
beat senseless with rubber hoses and hanged upside down like Mussolini.
Text from Me: "Hey, I feel snow coming."
James: "Gross. That's Mom's dog's name."
Here's my take on the whole Toyota Mysterious Acceleration
thing: The problem is not mechanical, it's spiritual - the cars are
being possessed by ANCIENT JAPANESE SAMURAI DEMONS!!!
I'm simply asking you to consider it.
This Netflix thing has to stop.
For the past month I've done NOTHING except watch
documentaries and movies. Which was fine, for the first three or four
thousand hours. But now it's time to pay whatever's month rent is due,
shovel out the kitchen, see if I still have a job, etc.
- Just one of the great works of art directed by German genius Werner
Herzog. Film students who deny themselves this film and Herzog's
The Wrath of God are crippled among us enlightened ones who have
suffered his bug bites and come out of his films wanting to kill and
eat some slithering, disgusting reptile. Burden
of Dreams - A film about the making of Fitzcarraldo.
Yeah, they really did pull that ship over the mountain. Yeah, Kinski
really was a dick. (So much so that the actual native chief in the
film offered Herzog to have Kinski killed for him.) My
Best Fiend: Klaus Kinski - Herzog's documentary about the maniacal
actor Klaus Kinski, who played the lead role in Fitzcarraldo and
Aguirre and other Herzog classics. The
Silence - Perhaps the greatest filmmaker of all times, this is
Ingmar Bergman nearing the height of his creative genius. Following
this film he did Winter
Light and after that Persona,
which is on my list of the 10 Greatest Films of All Time.
CSA: Confederate States of America - What if the South had won
the Civil War? This mockumentary nearly gets mired in its own
cleverness toward the end, but it's definitely worth watching.
Caligula - A ridiculous attempt by Penthouse Magazine
editor Bob Guccione to merge porn and Hollywood. This Netflix version
cuts out much of the hardcore porn shots which, sadly, was the only
things that made this pig worth watch waddling.
Antichrist - One of those films you can't get out of your head.
Willem Dafoe stars in this surreal bellyflop into the collective
psychic goo. A film by the amazing Danish auteur Lars von Trier. Inside
Deep Throat - An in-your-face (sorry) documentary about the social
implications of the film.
The Story of O - Oh...
Dead Snow - Nazi zombies. What more do you want?
Snuff - A mildly interesting documentary about snuff films.
Maid-Droid - If you thought the Japanese were weird before... Sex
and the Cinema - a documentary about... The
Pervert's Guide to Cinema - Slovenian philosopher and
psychoanalyst Slavoj Zizek puts David Lynch, Charlie Chaplin, Groucho
Marx and others on the couch in this heady, enlightening and
Fausto 5.0 - A wonderful Spanish surprise. Never heard of it
M - Fritz Lang's first "talkie" from 1931. Peter Lorre
as the cinema's first serial killer.
Examined Life - A collection of philosophers talking mostly over
Solaris - The Russian sci-fi classic from the early 70s.
I just watched the documentary "Zoo."
Later, I went for a ride out in the country where I encountered this
group of horses and I noticed that this one was, like, totally
checking me out. So I said, "Hay."
This website set a new daily record last Monday: 1607
I can't believe everyone's freaking out about this
woman who was killed by a KILLER whale. She got into the water with a
KILLER whale - a KILLER whale who had killed before. Gee, what a
surprise; she was killed by a killer KILLER whale.
I'd tell Tiger Woods to kiss my ass but I wouldn't
want him to mess up his "therapy."
Yo, Joe. Why didn't you just write a song about flying a plane
into the Austin, Texas, IRS offices instead of actually doing it? Huh? Think
about it from your purgatorial perch. You would have gotten lots of
attention. No doubt some gun ho, mid-level, governmental administrator
would have made it his personal mission to rid society of your likes
by abusing his power to make things even tougher on you than they
already were, which would have undoubtedly went bad and been exposed
by some equally gung ho, young Austin journalist - and you would have
gotten even more attention. Having read your
manifesto, it's obvious you were relatively sane and quite articulate. You would eventually have become a regular on the Alex
Jones Show, and/or you could have written a book, or at least you could
have sold survival packets or water purification tablets or some other
dumb fucking thing on the side and you would have reached thousands,
maybe hundreds of thousands of people who, like you, have a bona fide
bitch about the IRS.
But, furthermore, your daughter would still have a
father. Your wife would still have a husband. And you, Mr. Andrew
Joseph Stack, would be 100 percent less dead.
Still, you selfish, misguided son-of-a-bitch, may you
rest in peace...
D'oh! I just realized that Donald Sutherland
played Homer Simpson in John Schlesinger's cinema classic "Day of
the Locust." (And I shop at Boo Radleys to boot.)
I've long been saying that video games are one of the
signs of the collapse of world culture and general sanity. Here's
more proof. _____
Arp and I built my super-computer last weekend, but he
won't give it to me yet. He claims it's "a bit unstable." I
told him that I'm also a bit unstable at times and that he shouldn't
sweat it. He says there may be a fairly simple software fix (for the
computer, not me). I'll keep you posted.
Also, been pumpin' some iron...
Yes, I know it's obsessive, but I can't help it. It's
a phase; bear with me.
More amazing films I've seen lately:
arrivé près de chez vous (Man Bites Dog)," by Remy Bevaux
(1992). A black and white, French film which was strangely billed as a
comedy. (Well, maybe a very, very dark comedy.) As a serial killer
creatively applies his "art," a film crew records the
exploits and eventually becomes intimately involved. Very
entertaining, but with some truly horrifying scenes.
(1999) by Harmony Korine. The surreal exploits of a schizophrenic teen
and his ultra-dysfunctional family. This film is similar in style to
Korine's amazing film, "Gummo,"
from two years prior. "Gummo," impressed me like no other
movie since Fellini's "8
½." (The sound you just heard was the collective gurgled
chagrin of professional film critics.) Even if you don't like Korine's
bizarre style, you should see "Julien Donkey-Boy" if only
for the performance of legendary German director, Werner Herzog, as
the abusive father.
(2008). While shadowing L.A. firemen, a reporter and her cameraman get
trapped in a quarantined apartment complex with a slew of
rabies-infected zombies - while the camera rolls on. Okay, okay, it's
yet another zombie flick. But this one rises above the fray in that
the entire movie is seen through the lens of the entrapped
OtherSpokane.com total hits for January: 16,206
I just got NetFlix, so I've been watching A
LOT of movies lately.
Here are the ones that really impressed me:
(1998) by Christopher Nolan. A beautiful, complex, black and white
film about a man whose obsession with following random people draws
him into a dangerous criminal underground. Few people have seen this
film, maybe because it was overshadowed by Nolan's next movie, "Memento"
(an even better film). Both projects are similar in their use of a
(1979) by David Cronenberg. Violent and grisly, but intelligent - one
of his early horror films, and his first film using quality actors.
This film is currently being remade by a different director.
Basterds," (2009) by Quentin Tarantino. A mad, ingenious, new
kind of fairy tale by a mad genius/fairy tale character.
voie lactée (The Milky Way)" - by Luis Bunuel. (1969) His
uber-original take on religion. I don't understand the charges of
blasphemy against this film. The portrayal of Jesus is right on, as
far as the gospels are concerned, and (smilingly) refreshing.
Brot (Our Daily Bread)" by Nikolaus Geyrhalter. (2005) A
dialogue-less documentary about modern food production. Amazing
digital filmmaking. Who'd of believed that industrialized hog
slaughtering could be a thing of beauty?
(2009) - It's possible that I damaged myself internally from laughing
at the final scene. _____
Here's the computer that Arp and I are building. (We
don't actually have it yet - the parts are in the mail.) Any thoughts?
¶ GIGABYTE GA-X58A-UD5 ATX Intel Motherboard
¶ CORSAIR CMPSU-850TX 850W ATX12V 2.2 / EPS12V
2.91 SLI Ready CrossFire Ready Active PFC Power Supply
¶ Intel Core i7-920 2.66GHz LGA 1366 130W
¶ CORSAIR XMS3 6GB (3 x 2GB) 240-Pin DDR3 SDRAM
DDR3 1600 (PC3 12800) Triple Channel Kit Desktop Memory
¶ Western Digital Caviar Black WD1001FALS 1TB
7200 RPM 32MB Cache SATA 3.0Gb/s 3.5" Internal Hard Drive
¶ SAPPHIRE Radeon HD 5770 (Juniper XT) 100283L
¶ Microsoft Windows 7 Professional 64-bit
1-Pack for System Builders
My prediction regarding the late night talk show war:
LETTERMAN WILL RETIRE! and will bring Conan in as the complementary
butt cheek in his Worldwide Pants - pitting him chin to chin with Leno
Early this morning.
New Year's Eve (?)
The last time it was really, really cold.
So, I asked my friend Arp Xigar to do some research
into building a new computer for me. Revelation: Be careful what you
say to a computer nerd. I need something to edit HD video, but Arp is
considering the long term probability that I might need to someday
travel back in time, or hack NORAD, or control hurricanes. Knowing I
have the technical wherewithal of a salamander, here's some of the
links he's sent me:
Here's something I shot a few weeks ago when I first
got my camera. It's not HD, and I really didn't know what I was doing;
and still, it's clearer than anything I shot with my other cameras.
We're preparing to shoot something very dark and very
creepy. Most of the story takes place in Riverfront Park (the working
title is "RiverDark Park") with a few scenes to be shot in a
local coffee shop or tavern. If you've worked with us before and/or
you want to be involved, get a hold of me
(Shhh! I'm trying to get my friend, Arp Xigar, to
build me a computer so I told him I'd publish his web recommendations.
Just play along 'til I get my riggin'.)
For Everyone, Let’s begin the New Year with an
overwhelming appreciation of those that make our everyday lives a
little more exciting... Here’s
a tune to get into your head Monday morning... And remember to be
Joyous in your Industry; they are watching you and your productivity: Get
‘er done! And as Friday comes around, how about a grateful
indebtedness towards our benevolent
overlords. Also, Stik Mann needs a new computer! Let’s all help
him build the greatest
ENIAC we can! Punch cards and vacuum tubes are a must. Here's
to the New Year! Your Humble Servant, Arp Xigar
People's Choice - Prove It Runner Up - Exposure _____
It's been brought to my attention that 0 plus 9 equals 9, not 10.
That's right, this website - which was born at 11:59 pm on 12/31/99 in
the midst of the Y2K scare - just celebrated its NINTH anniversary,
not the TENTH. So, all that stuff I wrote earlier - forget about it
until next year.
Total hits to OtherSpokane.com on New Year's Day: 991
Total hits for December: 11,488
Happy New Year!
First, the bad news: The Spokane 48 Hour Film Fest's
Best Film award went to someone who wasn't us. Similarly, the People's
Choice award went to other non-us participants.
The good news is that it was nonetheless an AWESOME
experience. There is nothing like the rush of hearing people enjoy and
applaud your work. I was at the first showing and the City Hall
auditorium was packed full. The line waiting to get into the second
showing stretched up the stairway and into the street. Well over a
thousand people must have seen the eight finalist films throughout the
course of the evening.
A big tip of the official OtherSpokane artsy-fartsy
director's beret goes to North by Northwest Productions for the
expertise, time and expense that must have been required to make this
extraordinary event possible.
This just in: Because of the popularity of this year's
contest, there's going to be a SUMMER 48 Hour Film Fest. Sincerely and
ominously we say with our best Arnold scowl, "We'll be baaack."