Hey, Stik Mann,

Yea. I haven't written my non-column for non-pay for no one have I?

Well, I've been gone. I've been in the Caribbean. I've been on lots of little islands. Grenada, where Reagan chased the communists. Tobago, where I chased the rastafarians. I was gone a long time. So when I return I can't help reflecting on why.

If Spokane were a man you just met, you would say that he was cold, stupid and broke. Who needs this guy? Sadly, I am born here and have ties. Is living in Spokane like loving an abusive father?

Man. Rantboy needs an out.

Anyway, the Caribbean is great, Warm air, warm water, warm people. I'm a little nuts from the jet lag. Yesterday I saw a thousand scarlet ibis roost for the night in a mangrove forest. Today I saw lightning over a wind blown Mount Spokane. sigh. It ain't the same O.K.? It just ain't the same.

But I'm back, and I'm here, and I'm doing my part, so back off. I don't wanta have to use this thing. I'll write you something real pretty when I'm ready.


P.S. Is that story about the lady with the pissing lion true or is your imagination going sour on us? I know all the crazies and I never heard of this girl.


Hey, AnotherCraig,

By the way, did you realize that you are a columnist in the New Journalism section of The OTHER Spokane? Thought I should mention that to you.

Send me bits and pieces of your periodic rants, shameful self-promotional bits, mental delusions and flashes of questionable brilliance. I'll compile them as I receive them.

No traditional columns please; no one has that kind of attention span anymore. Stik

Hello, Stik Mann,

You made me a columnist provided I never write an actual column? Thank you. That sounds reasonable. Then I guess you are my boss. Provided you never ask me to write or Do anything. I think I will enjoy being a non-columnist for a non-paper answering to no one. This is an opportunity, isn't it? So when is pay day?