ErbCane

Steve Eugster: The Mr. Destructo of Civilization

Year 2000 has arrived and it seems most of us are still here. There have been reports parts of New Jersey are still unaccounted for, but since New Jersey (state motto: The Waste State) has no impact on the rest of America, experts are unconcerned.

Steve Eugster has assumed the reins of power as a member of Spokane's City Council. I thought it would be interesting to see if the controversial Eugster has made an impact on public affairs since his election.

My research began and ended in that great arbiter of public opinion, The Spokesman-Review. I find it continually amazing that the Spokesman-Review survives given the fact so few people in the Inland Empire can read, much less comprehend, the written word.

It didn't take me long to see that residents of Spokane have a right to be concerned. "Hospitals report flesh-eating strep," was the Spokesman's front-page story for January 22, 2000. Spokane did not have this problem prior to Eugster's election to the council. Punctuating Eugster's involvement: the disease is limited to the readership boundaries of The Good Paper and normal Spokane television and radio broadcasts.

Look at the fate of Spokane's favorite professional football team, the Seattle Seahawks. Prior to the November election, the Seahawks were cruising. After news of Eugster's election reached Seahawk headquarters, the team floundered, losing six of their last seven games. Adding further proof of Eugster's effect on the team, after he was sworn into office, the Seahawk's play a terrible game against the Miami Dolphins in their first playoff appearance since the Great Depression. Rumors abound that Coach Holmgren is seriously considering not coming back to Eastern Washington University in an effort to shake Eugster's detrimental influence.

Washington State University is feeling the power of Eugster's election to public office. Since Eugster announced he was running for office, Sam Smith has announced his retirement and most of WSU's senior administration has left, or is leaving.

Since he took office, the men and women's basketball teams are 0 for Y2K.

Eugster's election has seriously affected the writing ability of The Spokesman-Review's Jim Kershner. For proof, I direct your attention to the hideous column he wrote about subversive contrails in the January 22, 2000 issue of The Good Paper. I confess it is not unusual for Kershner to write columns that many people consider less than coherent. But no one remembers him writing anything this bad before Eugster took office.

Three weeks into Eugster's term and society as we know it is beginning to unravel.