Running with Scissors
Jump to Text Only Version
Greetings, faithful readers, and welcome to this very special edition of Stik Mann's OtherSpokane.
In this -- the twentieth issue of this humble journal -- I give you the Heroes of the Gnu Revolution: An unseemly collection of brave individuals who refused to keep their mouths shut, who refused to apologize for not keeping their mouths shut, and/or refused to be a blind participant in the nationalistic Follow The Leader fervor currently rolling over this nation like a creeping meatball.
Strangely, this first installment is composed of folks who, just a few months ago, I would not have thought twice about superimposing on them the head of an aardvark, or printing their words as yet another example of political bumblefunkery.
What a difference a war makes.
So, with no further ado...
Number One: Congressman Bob Barr
Two: Evangelist Franklin Graham
Three: That Cop from Oregon
Four: Senator Maria Cantwell
"Rise up and abandon the Creeping Meatball!"
"To those who scare peace-loving people with phantoms of lost liberty, my message is this: Your tactics only aid terrorists, for they erode our national unity and diminish our resolve. They give ammunition to [our] enemies, and pause to [our] friends."
A. Attorney General John Ashcroft
(A) is correct. (B) is close. Goebbels said
many similar things, but not that specific quote. (C) is for mild comical
relief after the horrible reality of (A) and (B) sets in. (D) is designed to weed out the dangerously stupid.
Whatever happened to
'Kinder and Gentler"?
"Rules of engagement: Give no quarter," was written by a retired Marine lieutenant, who praised the North Vietnamese officer who acted as judge, jury and executioner in this Pulitzer Prize winning photo.
He sums up, saying, "Perhaps the photograph of Nguyen
summarily executing one such terrorist for his violent act against
humanity can now serve as a reminder of the resolve we need."
Even Killers Can Be
"How September Ten."
“There is a secret pride in every human
heart that revolts at tyranny. You may order and drive an individual, but
you cannot make him respect you.”
See, Ain't Just the Liberals
(And no, you didn't see this one reprinted in the
Can't Help It, Still Think It's
"Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to
the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell
them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of
patriotism and exposing the country to danger."
Yes, I See Bin Laden in a Cave,
Run This Idea Up the Flag Pole
...the terrorists will
At Least One Promise
Today 35,600 children died from conditions of
starvation, according to the United Nations Food
& Agriculture Organization.
Let's Hope Polls Do
The next night I dreamed that two officers of the Royal
Canadian Mounted Police had restrained me and were contemplating burning
off my feet in a bonfire. I can offer no interpretation
"The only thing they are accomplishing right now is
creating a nation full of paranoid schizophrenic agoraphobics."
Hidden History? Just Say
"Like some tacky little pamphlet in your
Daddy's bottom drawer."
The Oiliest of
investing in that solar power company just yet.
"In the end they will lay their freedom at our feet and
say to us, 'Make us your slaves, but feed us."
Ithaca Gun is selling a "Homeland Security" model rifle. Here's their pitch: "In our current time of national need Ithaca Gun is ready to meet the challenge. In every respect, these new Homeland Security Model shotguns are up to the demanding tasks which lay before us as a nation."
Tromix is publicizing a soon-to-be-released 50 caliber rifle
nicknamed the "Turban Chaser".
"With regard to freedom of expression there are basically
two positions: you defend it vigorously for views you hate, or you reject
it in favor of Stalinist/Fascist standards."
Just wondering, is "fear of Germany" an
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the boisterous
sea of liberty."
Do People Have the Right to Conceal
Will we soon see a class-action lawsuit to suppress the results of a national survey
from the California Academy of Sciences? It revealed, for example, that
more than half of all American adults do not know that the Earth goes
around the Sun once a year.
would you pronounce the name of that island near Thailand spelled
"History teaches that grave threats to liberty often come
in times of urgency, when constitutional rights seem too extravagant to
A thought experiment from Steve Dasbach of the Libertarian Party:
Suppose that Switzerland were to suddenly abandon its policy of strict neutrality and embark on an entirely different course. Suppose Switzerland started deploying troops in dozens of foreign nations, some of them vehemently anti-Swiss. Suppose further that it began arming both Israel and the Arab states in the Middle East; flying in troops to eradicate coca plantations in South America; propping up dictatorial Third World regimes; and occasionally bombing nations engulfed in civil war, such as Yugoslavia.
Suppose, finally, that angry fanatics from one of those nations were to infiltrate Switzerland and launch a bloody terrorist attack on a Zurich business district, killing thousands of innocent people.
The civilized world would be horrified, outraged, and saddened.
But would anyone be genuinely surprised?
Next Issue: WhenHell freezes just a wee bit more.
Please read the