JonWelge

First, find the humor:

The Photographer And The Forest Fire

A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. A small plane would be waiting to fly the photographer over the fire.

The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. The photographer jumped in with equipment and shouted, "Let's go!" The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air, though flying erratically.

"Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make several low-level passes." "Why?" asked the nervous pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures!" yelled the photographer. "I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures."

The pilot replied, "You mean you're not the flight instructor?"

The photographer then responded with, "no, I'm really your Mom."

"MY GOD," the pilot reeled. He couldn't believe it for a moment, and then he realized . . . "Mother?" me murmured.

"Yes, son, I'm you're Mother. It's been so long since we saw each other last, since you killed father, and now we can go to Europe like we planned."

"Wait a minute," said the pilot. "You're NOT my Mother, you're Buddy Silverstein's Mother, aren't you? From Louisville? Yeah, I rememeber, you're the one who . . ."

Just then the Photographer killed the Pilot and the plane dove into a hillside, which exploded in a glorious ball of flames.


Hey! -- ever feel like BRAINWASHING yourself? This one's a dandy!

Go get the Brainwashing program!


Check this:

The Beast

Did you see Drudge November 8? He had an interview with Congressman Bob Barr from Georgia (he was big at the impeachment herarings last year) concerning the National Security Agency's huge computer system for monitoring all emails, faxes, phone calls, etc. He said that this was something to be VERY concerned about, and he and his colleagues are attempting to find out more and pass legislation to curtail it.

Barr said that most communications end up going thru satellite systems, and EVRYTHING is picked up and "sniffed" by the computers for keywords. Interestingly, before the interview was concluded, they lost the satellite connections with Barr, and never got it back in time to finish the interview. Drudge made the statement that The Computer had shut them down; possible, no?

Barr was formerly in the Central Intelligence Agency. Of course, the governmentt denies it exists, but the Australian government has already admitted it exists last May, and says they have been cooperating with this project for some time.

Drudge said he would have Barr on again "soon".


Here is a petition that just started regarding Mars Exploration. Please look it over and pass the info on to people you know who might be likely to 'sign it'.

ThinkMars Petition


Just received the following e-mail:

BE SURE TO SEND IT BACK TO THE ONE WHO SNUGGLED YOU FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!

"I wish for you..."
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Gentle hugs when spirits sag,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Faith so that you can believe,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
And love to complete your life.

Author Unknown

What the hell is this world coming to when people send messages which attempt to either control the behavior of others or inspire guilt in parties who choose not to participate?

Smiles, sadness, laughter, is there any depth in this world? The line above, "gentle hugs when spirits sag . . ." makes me want to shoot someone. Is there anything genuine? In a world of cupidity-minded, thoughtless, pious, hypocritical shit-huffers, where can a person find an honest compliment, an honest expression of feeling that isn't ordered off the McDonalds Extra-Value Meal list of email poetry?

JESUS! SUPERSIZE MEEEE!!!

AGAGAGAGAGAUAHAGHAGHAGHA!!!!!! MORE FRIES!!!! AGAUAGAUGAGAGAG!!!

Funny, the piece ends with "Author Unknown." Is this true? Is the author really unknown, or just in hiding? Perhaps the Author, after realizing what he/she created, suddenly downed a bottle of Sominex, effectively saying, "Goodnight world. Byte me."

Hey, perhaps this message has deeper meaning after all.


Now, are you sure you're not really talking about navagating the internet? Like Bermuda, I am rock and wave who has tossed another bottled message off to the sea --

Only to see it return again, this time filled with comments from an unknown who may intend to populate and develop --

This insignificant space --

Where only a murmur of light can now be found --

By the best pair of eyes.