J. S. Martin

The Usual Apparitional Sighting

The other day I was watching C-SPAN2 and Alan Keyes was doing his usual thing (which is good for the first 5 minutes and then I have to turn away). But that day was different. For every time Keyes spoke, I could have swore it was the disembodied voice of FDR coming out of his mouth. Keyes was extolling the virtues of America and lamenting the social ills of our society (which seemed paradoxical to me), when he turned and looked straight at me, but it was the voice of FDR (and kind of crackly at that) which asked "What have you done for your country, lately?"

I must admit was a little taken aback, but I promptly answered "I gave the food bank some empty plastic bags so they can package all that free food for those homeless people. And I drove my kid around while he was selling Choco-Choco-Mint Cookies for the Boys of the Ever Widening Gap Between Social Classes club. Oh and I threw some change into the guitar case of some homeless person."

"Not good enough," came the voice of FDR.

"So," I asked, "what should I do?"

"Be a proud American. Help your neighbors, volunteer at your local schools, vote and live as if this is truly your country."

Just then my son came in and turned the channel to Family Double Dare on Nickelodeon. I walked into the kitchen, and grabbing a beer out of my refrigerator, I thought to myself "You know, just maybe I can make a difference."

So I rolled a joint and thought about it awhile.

Here's my question: Do you think this means anything? Or was this just the usual apparitional sighting where FDRs spirit takes over the body of Alan Keyes-and as such, I should just write it off as another one of those "quirky things that happen to people?"