Heroes of the
Greetings, faithful readers, and welcome
to this very special edition of Stik Mann's OtherSpokane.
In this -- the twentieth issue of this humble journal -- I
give you the Heroes of the Gnu Revolution: An unseemly collection of brave
individuals who refused to keep their mouths shut, who refused to
apologize for not keeping their mouths shut, and/or refused to be a blind
participant in the nationalistic Follow The Leader fervor currently
gushing over this nation like a creeping meatball.
Strangely, this first installment is composed of folks who,
just a few months ago, I would not have thought twice about superimposing
on them the head of an aardvark, or printing their words as yet another example
of political bumblefunkery.
What a difference a war makes.
So, with no further ado...
Number One: Congressman Bob Barr
That's right. Barr. A Republican! And a Georgia conservative at that. I
remember Barr as the "grand inquisitor" of Clinton's scandalous
White House years. I even once thought he was a bit of a racist.
Nevertheless, it was Barr who first stood up and shouted, "Hey, hold
'er right there, cowboy," when Bush was trying to declare himself Big
Brother. Barr joined with an unlikely crew from both the Right and Left,
declaring Bush's anti-terrorist bill as an unnecessary change in American
Two: Evangelist Franklin Graham
You know -- Franklin...Billy's boy. While being spiffied up to take over Pop's
fold, Franklin tossed a wrench in the gears of Bush's wacko-Arab-leader
Super Snuggle-A-Thon by calling the Muslim faith an "evil religion" which
calls for all in Mohammad's hands to smite the infidels. Well, I don't
know if he's right or not (searchable e-Korans revealed nothing worse than
God telling the Israelites to go kick some Baal-worshiping butt). Still,
the Frankster didn't bend, even after considerable political thumb screwing.
Three: That Cop from Oregon
Attorney General John Ashcroft wakes up the chief and tells him to go
round up all the brown guys with funny sounding names. Sheriff says,
"Nope. Against the law," then goes back to his copy of Popular
Four: Senator Maria Cantwell
She could have sat back and giggled with everyone else at Ashcroft's
stupid jokes when he appeared before the Judiciary Committee grumbling
about nay sayers. But she didn't -- and she made it clear that "not
all Americans are laughing." (As an added bonus -- as any fellow
middle-aged chauvinist will agree -- Maria's a hottie.)
"Rise up and abandon the Creeping Meatball!"
-- Jerry Rubin
Who said the following quote:
"To those who scare peace-loving people
with phantoms of lost liberty, my message is this: Your tactics only aid
terrorists, for they erode our national unity and diminish our resolve.
They give ammunition to [our] enemies, and pause to [our] friends."
A. Attorney General John Ashcroft
B. Joseph Goebbels
C. Genghis Kahn's food taster
D. Pluto (the dog, not the planet)
(A) is correct. (B) is close. Goebbels said
many similar things, but not that specific quote. (C) is for mild comical
relief after the horrible reality of (A) and (B) sets in. (D) is to weed out the dangerously stupid.
Did you read the interview
with yours truly in The Local Planet? If not you can read it here.
And if not there anymore, then here.
Whatever happened to
'Kinder and Gentler"?
Tuesday, November 13 is a day
I shall remember as the day the Spokesman-Review printed the most
frightening editorial of its long and distinguished history.
of engagement: Give no quarter," was written by a retired Marine
lieutenant, who praised the North Vietnamese officer who acted as judge,
jury and executioner in this Pulitzer Prize winning photo.
He sums up saying, "Perhaps the photograph of Nguyen
summarily executing one such terrorist for his violent act against
humanity can now serve as a reminder of the resolve we need."
Even Killers Can Be
"It is unfortunate that the cluster bombs are the
same color as the food packets. You can't win them all. Fortunately we
will be dropping leaflets, to explain the problem. Finally, we'll have a
foolproof means to determine literacy rates in a primitive
-- Gen. Richard B. Meyers, Department of Defense News
"How September Ten."
prediction of the new hip phrase; to be used when countering an argument
from somebody who hasn't religiously been chanting their New World Mantra
-- "Everything's changed. It's a new world. Nothing will ever be the
1997, only 35% of Americans had confidence that the government will
deter domestic attacks by terrorists. A post-September 11 poll shows
that 66% of the public now have such faith -- which means that
Americans' confidence that government will protect them against
attacks by terrorists has almost doubled now that terrorists have
Hey, how come only liberal democrats go 'thraxed?
What's up with that?
“There is a secret pride in every human
heart that revolts at tyranny. You may order and drive an individual, but
you cannot make him respect you.”
-- William Hazlitt, early
18th-century English essayist and literary critic
See, Ain't Just the Liberals Barkin'
In his regular New York
William Safire tears into Bush's new executive order allowing non-citizens
suspected of terrorist activities to be tried in military courts: "[A]
president of the United States has just assumed what amounts to
dictatorial power to jail or execute aliens... [W]e are letting George W.
Bush get away with the replacement of the American rule of law with
military kangaroo courts."
(And no, you didn't see this one reprinted in the
Can't Help It, Still Think It's
A few days ago, I saw two guys come out of the porn shop on Second Ave.
and get into a pickup with a United We Stand stick on the window.
"Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to
the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell
them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of
patriotism and exposing the country to danger."
Yes, I See Bin Laden in a Cave,
According to The Sunday Times (UK), the CIA
reactivated its "remote viewing" program, which was abandoned as useless
in 1995 after 20 years. During the cold war, the viewers were asked to
find Soviet subs. They could see them in the water, but couldn't tell
Run This Idea Up the Flag Pole
Planned Parenthood of Virginia is selling "red, white and blue"
condoms to raise money for victims of the 9-11 attack. A spokesman for the
organization said, "Offering patriotic condoms will...let Americans
display their colors proudly."
The Vatican appointed Saint Titus
Brandsma and Saint Isidore of
Seville as the internet's patron saints.
If you don't go to
McDonald's right now and buy a Happy Meal...
...the terrorists will
At Least One Promise
A book published in France a few weeks ago says Bush
offered the Taliban political recognition and truckloads of cash if the
regime would agree to support US plans for oil and gas pipelines through
Afghanistan. Bush ordered the FBI to back off its investigations of the
Taliban terrorist link, causing the FBI deputy director John O'Neill to
resign in protest. The regime refused the offer, prompting a US rep to
say, "either you accept our offer of a capet of gold, or we bury you under
a carpet of bombs."
Let's Hope Polls Do
I just read a Christian Science Monitor/TIPP poll that indicates
a third of Americans believe the government should be allowed to
torture terror suspects. A few days later, I ran into Time
to Think About Torture
from MSNBC. The next night I dreamed that two officers of the Royal
Canadian Mounted Police had restrained me and were contemplating burning
off my feet in a bonfire. I can offer no interpretation
"The only thing they are accomplishing right now is
creating a nation full of paranoid schizophrenic agoraphobics."
-- Rep. Gary Ackerman
(D-New York) on the Bush administration issuing general and ongoing "high
alerts" to U.S. citizens.
Hidden History? Just Say
The Presidential Records Act of 1978 called for release
of most records 12 years after a president has left office. Bush has
issued an executive order that allows a sitting president to block the
release of records of a former president, no doubt intended to bury past
"dirty tricks" employed by the U.S. The Reagan Administration issued a
virtually identical order, but it was rejected by the courts. Let's hope
the same happens again.
"Like some tacky little pamphlet in your
Daddy's bottom drawer."
-- Frank Zappa
The Oiliest of
We all know the Bush family is up to their
armpits in oil, and that Vice President Dick Cheney was chief of an oil
services firm until just before the election. But the connections go
farther, extending to dozens of other administration members: National
Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice was on the board of Chevron (and even
got a tanker named after her!); Commerce Secretary Donald Evans was the
CEO of the natural gas firm Tom Brown Inc. And the list goes on. Don't go
investing in that solar power company just yet.
"In the end they will lay their freedom at our feet and
say to us, 'Make us your slaves, but feed us."
Among Halliburton Co. press releases was one dated Sept. 10,
which read: "Halliburton Unit Picked to Participate in Program to Reduce
Threat of Weapons of Mass Destruction." Halliburton is the world's largest
oil services corporation. Vice-President Dick Cheney was formerly
"With regard to freedom of expression there are basically
two positions: you defend it vigorously for views you hate, or you reject
it in favor of Stalinist/Fascist standards."
-- Noam Chomsky
Germany said Tuesday it would commit 3,900 troops
to the US war on terrorism, opening the way for the nation's
widest-ranging military engagement since World War II.
"Timid men prefer the calm of despotism to the boisterous
sea of liberty."
-- Thomas Jefferson
-- Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, pointing to a photo of Special Forces on horseback in
Do People Have the Right to Conceal
The Supreme Court just heard arguments in
a case involving the right of a student to keep his lousy test scores
private. Will we soon see a class-action lawsuit to suppress the results of a national survey
from the California Academy of Sciences? It revealed, for example, that
more than half of all American adults do not know that the Earth goes
around the Sun once a year.
"History teaches that grave threats to liberty often come
in times of urgency, when constitutional rights seem too extravagant to
-- Justice Thurgood Marshall
A thought experiment from Steve
Dasbach of the Libertarian Party:
Switzerland were to suddenly abandon its policy of strict neutrality and
embark on an entirely different course. Suppose Switzerland started
deploying troops in dozens of foreign nations, some of them vehemently
anti-Swiss. Suppose further that it began arming both Israel and the Arab
states in the Middle East; flying in troops to eradicate coca plantations
in South America; propping up dictatorial Third World regimes; and
occasionally bombing nations engulfed in civil war, such as
Suppose, finally, that angry fanatics from one of those
nations were to infiltrate Switzerland and launch a bloody terrorist
attack on a Zurich business district, killing thousands of innocent
The civilized world would be horrified, outraged, and
But would anyone be genuinely surprised?
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Copyright © 2001, Steven J. St.George
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